How To Deal With Shame Autisum

How to Deal with Shame and Autism

Many autistic individuals experience shame, often stemming from misunderstandings about autism, societal expectations, and internalized ableism. This shame can significantly impact mental health and well-being. It's crucial to understand that feeling shame is not a personal failing; it's a common and understandable response to a complex situation. This post explores strategies for coping with and overcoming shame related to autism.

Understanding the Roots of Shame

Before addressing how to manage shame, it's important to understand why autistic individuals may experience it:

Societal Misconceptions:

• The "broken" narrative: Society often portrays autism as a deficit, something that needs fixing. This message can be deeply internalized, leading to feelings of inadequacy and shame.
• Pressure to mask: Many autistic people learn to mask their autistic traits to fit in, suppressing their authentic selves. This constant effort can be exhausting and contribute to feelings of shame and inauthenticity.
• Lack of understanding: The lack of awareness and understanding of autism in society can lead to bullying, exclusion, and judgment, fostering feelings of shame and isolation.

Internalized Ableism:

• Self-criticism: Autistic individuals may internalize negative societal attitudes towards autism, leading to harsh self-criticism and self-blame.
• Negative self-perception: Constant comparison to neurotypical individuals can lead to a distorted self-perception and feelings of inferiority.
• Perfectionism: The pressure to conform to neurotypical standards can fuel perfectionism, resulting in shame when these standards aren't met.

Strategies for Coping with Shame

Dealing with shame is a journey, not a destination. It requires patience, self-compassion, and consistent effort. Here are some strategies to help:

Self-Compassion and Acceptance:

• Challenge negative thoughts: Actively challenge negative self-talk and replace it with positive affirmations. Recognize that your autistic traits are not flaws but aspects of your unique identity.
• Practice self-soothing: Engage in activities that bring you comfort and relaxation, such as listening to music, spending time in nature, or practicing mindfulness.
• Celebrate your strengths: Focus on your strengths and accomplishments. Acknowledge and appreciate your unique skills and talents.

Building a Supportive Community:

• Connect with other autistic individuals: Sharing experiences and connecting with others who understand can significantly reduce feelings of isolation and shame. Online communities and support groups can be invaluable resources.
• Seek professional support: A therapist specializing in autism can provide guidance and support in managing shame and building self-esteem.
• Educate others: Help educate family, friends, and colleagues about autism to foster greater understanding and acceptance.

Reframing Your Perspective:

• Focus on self-acceptance: Embrace your autistic identity as a source of strength and uniqueness. Recognize that your differences are what make you special.
• Redefine success: Reframe your definition of success to align with your values and goals, rather than conforming to societal expectations.
• Practice self-advocacy: Learn to advocate for your needs and communicate your challenges effectively.

Moving Forward

Overcoming shame related to autism is a process that requires ongoing effort and self-compassion. By understanding the roots of your shame, building a supportive community, and reframing your perspective, you can cultivate a stronger sense of self-acceptance and build a more fulfilling life. Remember, you are not alone. Your autistic identity is a valuable part of who you are.